As can be seen from the cartoons, different students may have totallycontrary(different) attitudes on how to spend their days in university. The boy student in the first picture indulges himself into computer games, who (and) have(has) already forgot his own goal of further education. Whereas, the girl student in another one(second picture) almost buries herself in a large pile of books, Who(and she) isgetting prepared(busy preparing) for her future.

　　As we all known(know), one should exert oneself(at large in) obtainning (obtaining) the opportunity of further education in university. After the fierce competition(in college entrance examination), some students would believe they are carefree(safe) here. They stop fighting for their dream(s) and relax themselves(去掉) completely. What's more, some(去掉) others would like to work hard at first and even buy a computer for more imformation（information）, which, in the end, is used to playing(play) games rather than learning(learn).

　　 However(So), we should realize the fact that the time in university shoud (should) be made good use of to get prepared for future. (We should) Equip(equip) ourselves with enough knowledge so that we will not lose our head when confronted with some obstacles. We should always bear this in mind: opportunity is only from(for) theprepare(d) mind. Therefore, come on and strive towards our dreams.

　　Sara点评：14分！文章结构比较完整，但是要注意非限定性定语从句以及连接词的运用。细节决定成败，相信你能做得更好！